the human mosaic

In the year 1971, I was a round, chubby and fleshy two month old baby, resting within a white cane bassinet, which had been carried by my fathers strong hands and placed on the back seat of his five week old new car.

There were no seat belts in the rear of the vehicle.

Travelling at speed not fast nor particularly slow, my father steered his car, with two of his children, through the winding hills near our home in Country Victoria.

The front wheels of the sedan became imbedded within a trail of deeply corroded earth.  A boulder, resting within the washed away gravel, served as a catapult and its clash with one front tyre, caused our family vehicle to flip nose over tail, more than once.

The impact shattered the very large rear window of the Holden, whilst the motion of the car flipping over, ejected me from my bassinet and out through the smashed window and into the air.

I landed on the road with a bounce and a thud.

My brother, who was eight years young at the time, remembers sitting upside down in the overturned vehicle, secured by a seat belt.

He said he watched me lying in the near distance, on the ground.

“You were screaming and crying. I could see your tongue.”

Of course, I have no recollection of this event and it is a strange experience to hold somewhere within my psyche.

It lays hidden with other events I have suppressed or cannot recall, perhaps best locked away.

A medical team assessed me after the accident and concluded I was in good health.

I was dubbed a survivor.

And I am.

The painful or traumatic experiences I have endured ever since have happened to me because I am me.

Although at times I have felt like I have been shattered into unrecoverable fragments, I have always managed to piece myself back together.

I have changed shape more than a few times in my reconnecting of self.

I call this the human mosaic.

We are all a beautiful mosaic of every segment of our existence.

We contain jagged pieces of broken yesterdays.

We are multi coloured and patterned souls, more interesting because of each chasm of our presence.

The pulverizing experiences of our journeys, and we all have experienced them (or will do), are opportunities to reshape ourselves into something more evolved and unique.

A dropped plate on the floor, which was once round and whole in design, suddenly becomes a mess.  Its edges are sharp with a tendency to cut.

Things appear worthless once broken.

Events in our lives, when we feel the fracture, may also make us feel worthless sometimes.

I don’t want to cut you.

Everything is perception.

Perception pertains to where you are standing.

Strength is a decision.

It is also a muscle of the mind and needs training.

Your viewpoint on any given situation, would or may vary from mine, depending on where you are situated in life.

This is your journey and your soul lesson.

This existence you reside in now is your gift.

You are the mosaic.

Until your last breath you can piece yourself together into whatever shape you choose.

Collect the pieces of yourself and create the magnificent art that you are: admirable and rare.

Treasure and care for the mosaic of those you claim to love.

Listen to your deepest desire within and think more with your heart.

If you love someone, LOVE them.

If you have something to say, SAY it (however best you can express it).

If you want to hurt someone, don’t.

Choose to walk away and be a better person.

Hurting another person for the sake of only causing pain or for your own gain is extremely un-evolved and ultimately renders you the weaker person.

Remember, there is a purpose to your journey here.

What were you delivered onto this earth to do?

You were born to join a world and becoming a unity link within its chain of humans and all beings.

You were born to love.

You were born to grow until your dying day and hopefully leave a positive trail.

Everyone is fighting a battle, no matter which mask they wear or how sure they appear on the outside of their skin.

We all have scars.

Don’t open those scars.

Kiss them.

Help to heal the world and the people you cross paths with.

There is fuel in living true to yourself, as long as your intentions are pure and good.

As humans, we are complicated creatures.

I have learned that it’s best not to judge someone’s actions unless you have lived within their own heart and soul.

Or at the very least, heard their story.

Everyone has something to teach and much to learn.

Life and the universe we live in, is ultimately a mystery.

We feel more than we know.

Our emotions and psyche reminds me of an ocean with a rolling tide, best contemplated with the grace of gratitude.

The tumultuous sea storms will churn us.

The shoreline of our heartbeats will be bathed in sunlight and sometimes drenched in depth.

Sail forward with every breath.

So often we question that which sits within us or surrounds.

Our trust in our own being and that of others is tested and damaged by the events that rip at our edges.

It’s difficult to believe you can be whole, when you feel broken.

It is a never-ending exercise.

My endeavour in life and this is something I have learned gradually and with sudden force at times, is to love.

It begins within.

So as I again feel like life has recently flung me through the smashed window of a flipped vehicle (me) I remember my bounce.

I gather all of the jagged edges of myself and begin to try to fit them all back into something more beautifully intrinsic and whole.

I remember my mosaic soul and admire its unique shape.

It serves as a platter for those who pick from me whatever they might need.


My love is your feast.


Inside by PJ Ryan


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